Waiting for Final Hearing

During the preliminary hearing, one parent is usually given the responsibility of caring for the children and the other parent is given visitation rights. When given either one of these, you must demonstrate to the court that you can handle the responsibility and that you want to be an active parent in your children’s lives.

Given - Day to Day Caring
While waiting for your final hearing, you must demonstrate to the court that you can care for the children’s needs, both physically and emotionally.

You must:
1.  Be flexible with extra parenting time.
2.  Provide a stable home for the children.
3.  Not schedule events on the other parent’s time.
4.  Not alienate the other parent from the children.

Given - Visitation Rights
While waiting for your final hearing, you must demonstrate to the court that you want to be an active parent. If you fail to be an active parent while waiting for the final hearing, the other parent could win sole custody.

You must:
1.  Pay your child support.
2.  Keep all of your scheduled parenting times.
3.  Be flexible with the other parent; do not be hostile.
4.  Take your children to activities, church, doctor and school.

Being prepared will increase your chances of winning joint custody.  Unfortunately, however, there are no guarantees.  Always make the most of the time you’re given!

Do’s
1.  Do what is in the best interest of your children, always.
2.  Do be an active parent; take time to be involved in your children’s lives.
3.  Do ask for help from the other parent when you need it, and give help when asked.
4.  Do give your children a home with each parent; it will give them a great sense of security.
5.  Do allow your child to have some say in their time with the other parent, as they become older.
6.  Do give your love freely and receive love freely from your children; enjoy them while you can.
7.  Do prepare the children for spending time with the other parent; it helps show the children respect.
8.  Do keep your scheduled parenting times, unless advance notice is given; no-shows break little hearts.

Don’ts
1.  Don’t use the children as pawns.
2.  Don’t think of yourself as just a "visiting" parent.
3.  Don’t say negative things about the other parent in front of the children.
4.  Don’t make the other parent feel like a "visiting" parent, keep them involved.
5.  Don’t deny access to the children when it is not going to interfere with previous plans.
6.  Don’t think that two weekends a month is enough time for the other parent to be involved.
7.  Don’t move so far away as to take the other parent out of the children’s lives; both are needed.
8.  Don’t think that you have more love for the children than the other parent; love is immeasurable.

                                                                                                                           Copyright 2000-2003 by Family Mediation Center, Inc.