Two-Home Approach

Two-Home Approach
A two-home approach to divorce is where the children have their own room at their mom’s house and their own room at their dad’s house. Each parent’s house has clothes and personal items for the children.

When children go to the other parent’s house they need their own room with their own personal items. Children should not feel like "visiting" children at the other parent’s house. They should not be sleeping on a foldout cot, on the couch or in someone else’s bed. Children with their own room at the other parent’s house will feel like part of that family too - like they count. It might be harder financially on both parents, but it is in the children’s best interest that they have their own room at the other parent’s house.

One-Home Approach
Most state guidelines are designed for a one-home approach, sole or joint custody where the children will spend 82% of their time with one parent and 18% of their time with the other parent. Children need real parenting time with the secondary parent, not just visitation or weekend parenting, but this is what typically comes from our court systems. The one-home approach is outdated and needs to be revised for the best interest of the children. The one-home approach considers the financial part of divorce, not the human part.

*The one-home approach does not take into consideration the best interest of the children. Children need the security of knowing they have the secondary parent to raise them if something were to happen to the primary parent. If the secondary parent does not keep a room for the children, it sends a message to the children that they are not a real part of the secondary parent’s family, only "visiting" children. Even if the secondary parent only has overnight visitation every other weekend, the children still need to have their own room at that parent’s house. This will give them a real sense of belonging to that parent’s family.

Children’s Advantages of Two-Home Approach
Children will feel more secure, in their own "space."
Children will be more emotionally stable and happier.
Children will feel they are more loved by the other parent.
Children will feel more comfortable while with the other parent.
Children will have a feeling of belonging in with the other parent.

Children’s Disadvantages of Two-Home Approach
None - Children can only benefit by having two committed parents.

Children’s Advantages of One-Home Approach
None - Children need to be raised by both parents.

Children’s Disadvantages of One-Home Approach
Children will feel like they are only "visiting" children.
Children will have nowhere to store their personal items.
Children will be sleeping on foldout cots or on the couch.
Children may fell that the other parent does not really care.
Children may have no feeling of security if tragedy strikes the primary parent.

*Exception
One-home approach should be sought only when one parent is abusive, mentally ill, alcoholic, drug abuser, a danger to the children or if the other parent doesn’t want to be involved in the children’s lives.

The Best Interest of The Children is a "Two-Home Approach!"

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